Woman opens up about having situational anorgasmia to end stigma about female orgasms

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A BURLESQUE dancer who couldn’t have an orgasm during sex for almost ten years was labelled “too “too difficult to please” by her lovers.

Amy Gledhill, from Leicester, has a rare condition called situational anorgasmia — meaning she can’t climax in certain circumstances, The Sun reports.

The 26-year-old construction worker, who also works as a burlesque dancer, was so ashamed of the condition that she would hid under the sheets during sex.

Now in a loving relationship, she still struggles to climax.

Ms Gledhill told the Mail Online she had underwent psychosensual treatment with relationships and sex mentor Colin Richards to help get to the root of her problem.

“Being so open about sex and relationships, people are often surprised that I have situational anorgasmia but I don’t think they put this and the burlesque together,” she said.

Amy first noticed something was wrong when she was 17 and says she was unable to climax with a partner either during sex or when masturbating in front of them.

She soon realised that she could only experience an orgasm on her own.

“You read magazines and hear all the different ways to give and receive pleasure, and see multiple orgasms in porn, and you assume every woman is capable of such easy pleasure,” she said.

After years of feeling something was wrong, Ms Gledhill became self-conscious and felt “under pressure to perform”.

“In the past, it has been commented that I’m ‘difficult’ to please. That breaks down the bond you’d ideally like to have with a partner and makes it seem very one-sided,” she said.

“As relationships have gone on and I’ve become more comfortable with partners, I have been able to relax more and found a way of masturbating with them to achieve orgasm during a sexual encounter.

“I was still always aware that they felt disappointed that they had not been able to make me orgasm directly or through penetrative sex.”

Ms Gledhill has now been in a relationship with Mike Rollason for over a year and says he is more supportive than past lovers, and prepared to spend more time “finding out what I like and what turns me on.”

“We communicate so much more and a genuine connection also helps as well as my own experience over time,” she said.

Earlier this year, Ms Gledhill sought the help of Colin Richards, founder of Intimacy Matters.

She took part in a workshop as a “volunteer massage receiver” to help her deal with her body confidence and shyness issues.

During a three hour psychosensual treatment, which combined counselling and intimate bodywork, they explored her childhood, teen years and relationships.

“We discussed a few different things that may have affected me.”

They concluded that her shyness meant she struggled to make her voice heard, fearing what she had to say was not “worth people’s time.”

“My sexual openness and personal guidance from Colin has helped me achieve a better personal sexual understanding,” Ms Gledhill said.

She added that she now has “orgasms during sex with my partner that I never thought I would experience.”

She has now set up her own business, Sensual Touch Massage, to help other women.

“I now don’t feel like I’m disappointing my partner or myself even when I don’t orgasm, we both just enjoy sex and don’t fixate on the ‘goal’, this is when it most often actually does happen.”

This article originally appeared in The Sun and was republished with permission.

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